if you really knew me, you would know that i hate talking about my feelings, my true feelings anyways. if you really knew me, you would know that i cant stand when people dont wear socks with running shoes. if you really knew me, you would know that im nice to a lot of peoples faces, but i really cant stand them. if you really knew me, you would know that im not the happy girl i appear to be. if you really knew me, you would know that i hate my doctor because he is a creepy old man. if you really knew me, you would know that i was depressed, i felt better, and now i feel it coming back. if you really knew me, you would know that im happy for you, but i think you are making a big mistake. if you really knew me, you would know that im insanely jealous of every person that has found real love. if you really knew me, you would know that i feel like the outsider, even in my own family. if you really knew me, you would know that a trip to walmart can solve any problem i have with anything, well, while im there anyways. if you really knew me, you would know that i guard my heart a lot. if you really knew me, you would know that i trust people i dont even know more than people i am great friends with because they cant hurt me as bad as someone i care about can. if you really knew me, you would know that a single hug from my dog can make me feel happy. if you really knew me, you would know that i feel like a failure. if you really knew me, you would know that i dont want to live. if you really knew me, you would know that im terrified of dying. if you really knew me, you would know that i have a soft spot in my heart for people who are lonely. if you really knew me, you would know that i love my family conditionally. if you really knew me, you would know that i like to laugh because it gives me a reason to smile. if you really knew me, you would know that i actually like my job, drama and all. if you really knew me, you would know that i just want to be loved by someone who doesnt 'have' to. if you really knew me, you would know that i am scared you know so much about me. if you really know me, you would know that i hate horses. if you really knew me, you would know that i miss Ukraine with all my heart, it even hurts sometimes. if you really knew me, you would know that when i see certain people, i have pains in my heart, physical pains. if you really knew me, you would know that i wish i could see angels. if you really knew me, you would know that i like driving my soccer mom van because it used to by my opa's. if you really knew me, you would know that i miss my opa with everything that is in me. if you really knew me, you would know that i want to name my first child bentley. if you really knew me, you would know that i have a tattoo about a 'free heart' when i still dont think my heart is free. if you really knew me, you would know that this past week i really hurt, more than i let on. if you really knew me, you would know that i wish i didnt bite my nails. if you really knew me...........